It took me months to realize I was teaching my daughter the wrong way to swim. My husband bought our daughter a Dora the Explorer fishing rod and taught her the wrong way to fish. Other things that I’ve flubbed include how to cut a steak and how to write cursive. Have you figured out my mistake? Here’s a hint: my daughter has something in common with Oprah Winfrey, Leonardo di Vinci and Henry Ford. Need another hint? If my daughter sits on the wrong side of me when we eat, we bump elbows. That’s right—she’s a lefty!

Once my husband and I uncovered that fact, we still had no idea how many activities in this world are dominated by what works best for right-handers. When I swim front crawl, I turn my head to the right to breathe. Apparently, it’s easier for my daughter to breathe on her left. Fishing poles are made for right-handed kids and if you want one with a reel located on the left-hand side, they cost hundreds of dollars! Now that I’m teaching my daughter to write in cursive, I see the bias that the “correct” way for letters to slant is to the right. Well, that’s not so easy for a southpaw. Fortunately, my mother-in-law is left-handed and she showed us the trick of tilting the paper in the opposite direction. When I write, the top of the paper tilts to the left, but my daughter needs to turn it the other way. But it’s still a challenge for her to get her letters to slant in the “right” direction.

I say all of this in honor of International Left-Hander’s Day, August 13th. For those righties out there, I challenge you to spend a day looking at the world through the eyes of a leftie. We put our right hand over our heart to say the Pledge of Allegiance. We shake hands with our right hand. We operate the mouse on our computers with our right hands. High school desks, scissors, guitars and the buttons on microwaves are made for right-handers. Perhaps you don’t think it matters. When you get home tonight, put your house keys in your non-dominant hand and try to unlock your front door. Apparently when it comes to ergonomics, the majority still rules.

I’d love to hear from you! What other activities are effected by being left-handed?
What other famous people are lefties?

Karen Lenfestey, a Midwest Writer’s Fellowship winner, writes “Happy Endings with a Twist.” She just released her fourth novel, A WEEKEND GETAWAY. To get the free e-book, FRIDAY A LA MODE, click here:

Seeing an author whose books I enjoy is a rare thrill for me, so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to hear Elizabeth Berg speak. In case you don’t know, Elizabeth Berg is a New York Times best-selling author, writes contemporarily fiction and bought her dad a red Cadillac after her book Open House was featured on Oprah’s Book Club. What I like about her books is that they’re about marriage, friendship and complicated family relationships, which is also the style of books I write. According to my agent, it’s a small niche in the women’s fiction market, which is dominated by romances. Here are the words of wisdom this successful author shared at the Midwest Writer’s Workshop. 


Your day job can make you a better writer. Elizabeth Berg’s experience as a nurse required her to give patients “unconditional positive regard” and notice everything from a twitching knee to their facial expression. Since she worked in critical care, she learned that what matters in life isn’t the big things, but the little details. It’s the yellow coffee cup you drink your morning coffee from or the dog curled up at the end of your bed that matter to people. This is also what creates a beautiful scene and a memorable story. 


Berg offered insights into her own writing process, but emphasized that we should honor what works for us. She doesn’t plot her story out ahead of time because she likes to be surprised. “I don’t want to know where it's going. I want to dream it into being.” Preferring to work in the morning, she writes one day without censoring herself. The next day she goes back and edits it. She encourages writers to “Go shopping for ideas inside yourself” rather than trying to imitate others.  


“The best thing to do to be a good writer is to be a good reader,” Berg said. She likes to read Alice Munro, E.B. White, the graphic artist Lynda Barry as well as non-fiction. Reading a variety of genres is good for writers. Her advice for writer’s groups is “Be honest but kind.”  


When asked how she juggles several book ideas, she said she can’t work on two novels at the same time. “It’s like you’re married to it.” So, she suggested treating your story ideas like you would children: tell them you love them and you’ll get to them later, but right now Mom has to do this. People who are bombarded by several ideas should write each of them down and put them in a drawer. 


Berg concluded with a few positive words about publishing. Despite the changing industry, she said, “Editors are still looking for good writers. They need you as much as you need them.” Write the story you want to write first, she advised, and worry about marketing later. “All of you are engaged in a noble business. . . . Good luck! I hope you love what you’re doing.” 



If you enjoy reading happy endings with a twist, try A SISTER’S PROMISE, WHAT HAPPINESS LOOKS LIKE or ON THE VERGE. Look for A WEEKEND GETAWAY by Karen Lenfestey, coming soon to Amazon. 
Thanks to my friend and fellow author, Cathy Shouse, for the picture in this blog.

"Who's your hero?" my ethics professor asked. I didn't answer. No one did. We thought heroes wore capes and tights. The professor, an elderly gentleman, felt sorry for us. He admired Joe DiMaggio, FDR, WWII vets. But at age twenty, we were jaded. Too often the media revealed people we admired to be flawed--Pete Rose, Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods. In other words, we were a generation without real heroes.  

Yet part of me wanted a hero. Someone to look up to. So I began my search. I felt my hero should be female, like me. I also wanted someone who was successful in her own right--not because she'd married someone (Jackie Kennedy), or she'd inherited her wealth (Paris Hilton), or because she was pretty (Kim Kardashian). In the end, my mind kept coming back to Oprah.

But wasn't that a bit cliché? Didn't every woman in America admire Oprah? I wanted to be more original. The problem was the more I learned about Oprah, the more impressed I became. She'd grown up poor and suffered through prejudice, bad boyfriends and weight issues. Because of her intelligence and persistence, she'd become an icon. She spoke to women everywhere and used her wealth to build a girls' school in Africa. Best of all, her generosity felt sincere--not like a photo op. Oprah seemed real. 

Another thing I admired about her was that she made a conscious decision not to become a mother. Why admire Oprah for not having kids? Because she knew her career would conflict with childrearing. Maintaining fame requires travel and attending events where she makes important contacts. Oprah chose not to have children raised by a nanny. In fact, her magazine was the first place where I read about women choosing to remain childless. The idea intrigued me so much that I wrote a novel about a woman questioning her choice.

So, for those of you still searching for a hero, I recommend Oprah. I’ve never seen her wear a cape, but sometimes she does wear tights.

YOUR TURN TO COMMENT: What woman do you most admire?