KAREN LENFESTEY, "Happy Endings with a Twist"
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The Mixed Messages of Motherhood

5/16/2012

8 Comments

 
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Is motherhood a full-time job? Yes. But it doesn't pay very well. I think that's why my husband freaks out when our seven-year-old daughter announces that she plans on staying home when she grows up and letting the "daddy" work. Other times, she talks of living with us forever, which freaks him out even more.

Just yesterday my daughter wouldn't eat much dinner because she'd filled up on Triscuits. Her dad declared, "You're never eating crackers for snack again." She piped up, "Yes, I will. When I grow up and have my own house." I chimed in, "That's another reason to get a good job, so you can move out and eat all the crackers you want." (Sell it--sell it.)

It's my own fault, really. I think I've sent my daughter mixed messages. Since she was born, I've stayed home with her, arranged play dates and chaperoned school field trips. Now that she's in school all day, I work from home, but as far as she's concerned, I'm still just home. I feel lucky I can do that, but my daughter never knew me before. In my life B.C. (before child), I put myself through graduate school. I worked a satisfying job (and several unsatisfying ones). I traveled to Europe. I supported myself.

That's my husband's real concern. Will our daughter turn into a happy, independent adult? It'd be nice if she met a great guy and could afford to be a stay-at-home mom, if that's what she wants. But it'd also be nice if she had a rewarding career. A job that allowed her choices like I've had. 

Some days I think she gets it. Recently she said, "When I grow up, I want to be a vet. But I'll quit when I become a mom." If that's what you want, dear. Motherhood may not pay well, but it definitely has its perks. 

Whether you work at home or away, you deserve a treat. Click below for an excerpt about women whose lives are even more complicated than yours: A Sister's Promise or What Happiness Looks Like. If you liked this blog, please click "like" or "tweet" below.

Happiness Excerpt
Sisters Excerpt
8 Comments
Margaret
5/17/2012 12:15:53 pm

Loved the post Karen! My daughter says she wants to be a teacher and a mom and I always tell her keep it in that order lol! I also traveled before BC ( I love that lol) and hope for both my kids they will have a chance to live life independently for a while before becoming settled with a family.

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5/24/2012 09:43:12 am

Yes! My son refuses to believe me when I tell him I used to have a job. He has said things like, you can't have a job, you are a mommy. At first I found it cute, now not so much. I busted my butt in every job I had. Even the male dominated ones. He is slowly getting it that I wasn't always a mommy, I was a woman with her own high powered job.

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